Okay, has the lady had a chance to handle both firearms at a range at the same time?
If no, get guns, go to someplace where "live fire" is possible.
If yes, which gun does she prefer? Is she okay with the size and the heft of a J-frame? Many folk, of either gender are
put off by the bulk the revolver in pocket or purse or
(IWB?) holster.
I own both firearms but find carrying the revolver does not
work with many wardrobe choices. Though I have good
pocket rigs, the J-frame is simply less concealable.
http://thearmedcitizen.com/gunpages/model36.htm
Many ladies will make a choice they thing they are
"s'posed" to make, make the wrong choice then end up
not carrying.
If the choice is a Kel-Tec, consider Wolff gunsprings to
lessen the recoil then go with FMJ because penetration
may well be poor with JHP and because of increased
reliability. And teach her about not limp wristing or she
will have only one or two shots.
Are both guns not really to her taste? Consider the
NAA mini revolver which when fired with magnum loads
is as loud as .38 special. That is unless you are really
sure she will be able to hit what is aimed at because
otherwise, regardless of firearm chosen what is pulled
out is a noisemaker with a lot of flash. And the NAA
has plenty of that, too.
http://thearmedcitizen.com/gunpages/naa22.htm